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  Ask the Ass Master

Word of the day: Hentai refers to Japanese cartoon porn. It's quickly growing in popularity since it can involve outrageous and fanciful sex acts.

Ask the Ass Master: Questions from Men


Hey Ass Master,
My girlfriend has recently discovered that she likes to have her ass eaten. Can you suggest a fun position we might try that doesn't involve my crouching down behind her while she's bent over the kitchen counter. I have bad knees and this gets painful for me. Tom, LA

Unless your girlfriend outweighs you by a ton, try this:
Lay down on your back, then have her lay down the opposite way, tits up, on top of you. She'll be resting her butt on your face and the back of her head in your crotch. As you bury your tongue in her ass, reach up with both arms and fondle her nipples. Continue squeezing and teasing those nipples while you slather her ass with sweeping circles of your tongue.

Now for the tricky part: Wrap your arms firmly around her stomach and roll over. Resting your weight on your knees, pull her up onto her knees so that her face is on the mattress and her butt is elevated. With your chest pressed against her lower back, drop your face back down between her cheeks and resume eating. As your tongue tantalizes her hole, move your hands up to play with her clit.

Practice the roll-over a few times and you should be able to do it without ever having to remove your tongue from her ass.

Hey Ass Master,
My wife and I just put in a new hot tub. Got any suggestions? Steve, CO

I have a lot of suggestions, but they don't all pertain to the subject at hand.

There is something I've always enjoyed, and it works well for either partner getting eaten. Have your wife lean her elbows and chin on the outside edge of the hot tub and let the rest of her body float to the surface of the water. Crouch down in the water and move in between her legs so that when you rise up, her thighs will be resting on your shoulders. Now that you're there, you might as well make a snack out of that ass that's bobbing just above the water.

Should you be lucky enough to be in a hot tub with jets you can aim, try to get them blowing up on her breasts and genitals. This will really add some bubble to an already sensual position for eating ass.

Hey Ass Master,
I recently got my tongue pierced because I thought my girlfriend would like it. Now I find out she won't let me eat her ass because she says it isn't safe for me. What gives? Kyle, WA

I hate to tell you this, buddy, but you have just mentioned one practice that the Ass Master cannot condone. Tongue piercing and any form of oral sex is a recipe for trouble.

A large percentage of tongue piercings do not take or become infected. Expose this open wound to trace amounts of fecal matter and you are opening yourself up to any number of diseases and nasty infections. For your partner, the back of that tongue stud could scratch the sensitive skin of her anus and cause bleeding.

My advice to you would be to remove the tongue stud and let your tongue heal. Then you'll be able to get down to some serious ass licking. If you simply can't part with the mouth jewelry, yet still crave oral-anal action, get yourself some dental dams (thin sheets of latex) to use as barriers. Place a dab of lube on one side of the dam and place the lubed side flush against her asshole. You can then lick her ass through the latex. This won't be as satisfying for either of you because you'll have to be careful not to get sloppy or tear the latex with the metal.

If you really want to get down and dirty again, lose the stud, stud

Hey Ass Master,
I always thought that eating a woman's ass was one of the safest forms of sex. My current girlfriend doesn't feel the same way about it. Could you shed some light on the subject for me? Hal, ME

As is too often the case, just because something feels good, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's good for you. Eating ass does carry the possibility of some health risks. You could be exposed to hepatitis A or contract E coli. The risk of contracting AIDS or most other STDs is very low unless your partner is bleeding from their ass or colon.

To best reduce your risk, have your partner cleanse her anus good with warm soapy water. You might also try an oral barrier like a piece of plastic wrap or a latex dental dam placed over the anus. The sensations are a little different, but they can be just as pleasurable.


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